Yoo-hoo! I’m Caroline Davis, a YA sci-fi author represented by the agency behind The Hunger Games and currently preparing my first book, MAY WE PLEASE THE SEA, to pitch to publishers.

Represented by the agency behind Ender’s Game and currently preparing my first book, MAY WE PLEASE THE SEA, to pitch to publishers.

Not currently represented by anyone, but I finished my 2nd book! This newsletter shares my latest author updates & creative process musings.

Who am I?

It’s a running joke in my family, dating back to that time in college where I semi‑accidentally dyed my very blonde hair…black. (And not my eyebrows.) It was a tragic era for my appearance and yet, at the time, I shockingly did not care.

I’d gone to the hair salon, finally embracing that I no longer was a Florida girl basking in the sun, but a college student in Boston—ok ok, fine, it was Cambridge! I went to Harvard!!

Whew, sorry, don’t know what came over me there.

Anyways, I asked the discounted assistant-to-the-regional-hairstylist (because that’s all I could afford) to “please match my roots”, which I will always claim are dirty blonde, but one might describe as light-brown, and well, some time later, I looked into the mirror and…I had black hair. Dark black hair.

With no money left to fix it, and my hair now too badly fried to do more to it even if I could, I said “thank you” in my best people-pleasing tone and scuttled back to my dorm room, where I then scared the shit out of my roommates because they thought a stranger had broken in.

The best (or worst?) part of this was…I just accepted it. Unplanned black hair, light brown eyebrows, and oh yeah, this was during the recruitment process for Harvard’s final clubs (which are like sororities or secret societies). Not the best timing.

Almost every club cut me. I assume because they were like, “Who’s that random chick with black hair?” (But it also could have been because they didn’t like me. Whatever.)

For the one club that didn’t cut me, it was because an upperclassman I worked with was kind enough to inform everyone of my new black hair.

Thus, I successfully joined the Isis (which was named for the Egyptian goddess of fertility, just so you know) and I got some really great sweatshirts and hoodies that boldly proclaimed ISIS all over them. Sadly, we had to rebrand shortly after, for obvious reasons, and those clothes had to go.

***

The “Who am I?” family joke was born because I truly looked like I was going through an identity crisis.

I wasn’t then.

But I kind of am now…minus the eyebrow mismatch.

Who am I? I studied Mandarin Chinese from age 13, took upper-level Business Chinese in college as a freshman, moved to Hong Kong after graduation, where I emailed about real estate investments in Chinese. Now I speak more Spanish than Chinese. (Duolingo on Day 641!!)

Who am I? In Hong Kong, I studied and passed all three levels of the CFA exams (That stands for Chartered Financial Analyst, and it’s one of the hardest finance designations you can get). Then I left the finance industry, which means over 900 hours of studying and I can’t even force you to call me “Caroline Davis, CFA.” (But I would respond.)

Who am I? At LinkedIn in San Francisco, I won a cross-functional MVP award for my 3-year massive change management project in operations and analytics. Then I quit to write a book.

Who am I? I wrote that book, heck I wrote two books, both in the dystopian sci-fi genre, and I got literary representation from the agency that repped The Hunger Games. Then again with the agency that repped Ender’s Game. Those are both keystone books in my genre! Yet there’s a voice that whispers, “it’s been six years since you left the corporate world…and you still don’t have a book published.”

Who am I? I invested in building an Instagram presence for my future author platform. One reel went big, grew my following by 15,000 people, and even landed me an interview with NPR’s All Things Considered.

But then I stopped.

Was I an influencer? Of what? My dog? My garden? My still-not-publicly-available book? Why was I on here and what was I doing it for anymore??

I didn’t know. So I paused.

Who am I? Even on my entrepreneurial side (aka how I make money, which we all know isn’t coming from book sales), I don’t talk about it, but I have clients who pay me for fractional Chief of Staff and COO work. How cool is that?

Except, because everyone I’ve worked with has come to me versus me selling my services to them, I’ve never truly felt like an entrepreneur.

Yes, I make money that’s not through a full-time employer, but I don’t have a long, fancy sales page with a big blinking “Book a Call with Me” button, so…

Who am I?

Growing up, I always heard my dad talk about “all the pieces of the pie”— the idea of attending to all the aspects of a well-balanced life.

If I was stressing out over an exam, he’d say, “Don’t forget to work out! Work out your brain, work out your body.”

If I was feeling guilty about not studying Chinese so I could go to a party (which was with Isis, but you know which one), he’d remind me, “Social breaks are important too. All the pieces of the pie.”

So…what if, instead of agonizing over this, I applied that life motto now? What if, instead of trying to pick one version of myself, I embraced all my different pie pieces?

Because the truth is: I am multi‑passionate. I am someone who builds many things at once—creatively, professionally, personally….slowly.

Maybe I don’t need to be the Writer, or the COO, or the Influencer.

Maybe the answer to “Who am I?” isn’t a title at all.

Maybe I’m the person intentionally building a life made of many pieces.

I’ve been sitting on this draft for months now, simmering with my pieces, and finally, I feel ready to release this into the world. I have things I’ve put into action, and I can’t wait to bring you along for this next stage in my journey.

Sneak-peek into the first of The New Things:

In the past six years since I left LinkedIn, all of my clients have come to me—a surgical facility group, an interior design studio, an author on book tour, a real estate agency, a dog trainer.

Different industries, different problems, same thing every time: someone smart and capable who needed help getting clear and getting moving.

It always ends the same way. At the close of our meeting, they exhale and say some version of: “Whew. I feel so much better.”

That moment’s my favorite part :)

So here’s my new part: I’m finally doing this entrepreneur thing on purpose.

For the first time ever, I’ll be opening up coaching. And instead of waiting for people to find me, I’m inviting them in.

Inviting YOU in!

It’ll be built around exactly what I’ve been doing for these founders for years: helping you get clear on what you want, and actually making it happen.

So if you’ve ever wanted my brain on your goals, your stuck points, your “I have too much going on and I don’t know where to start”—just reply to this email. I’d love to tell you more.

***

And if you’re not looking for coaching, fear not!

This newsletter is not becoming a sales pitch. I’ll still show up here the same way I always have—with my stories and deep-dives and the occasional identity crisis.

Coaching is just one of my new pieces of the pie. If it’s not for you, no worries at all—in this world of shortening content and shortening attention spans, how amazing that you choose to share your precious time with me.

Like I said, there’s more excitement to come!!

But don’t worry…it won’t involve dying my hair black again. 😉

🌊❤️,

Caroline

Since starting this journey,

+843 people have joined my newsletter

+204 virtual teas have been sent to me on Ko-Fi, yummy! Thank you, friend! 🍵

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Yoo-hoo! I’m Caroline Davis, a YA sci-fi author represented by the agency behind The Hunger Games and currently preparing my first book, MAY WE PLEASE THE SEA, to pitch to publishers.

Represented by the agency behind Ender’s Game and currently preparing my first book, MAY WE PLEASE THE SEA, to pitch to publishers.

Not currently represented by anyone, but my mom still thinks I’m awesome. This newsletter shares my latest author updates & creative process musings.

🚨First off, big announcement! 🚨

I’ve finished my 2nd book MOONSHOT. If you’re interested in beta reading, please respond! First 10 responses will get the elusive, only-offered-once-before Beta Reading slot. Ooh aah.

Yeah wait, what’s MOONSHOT?

It’s the book I’ve been writing since I shelved MAY WE PLEASE THE SEA. (We’ll get to that later). 🫤

*Clears throat to begin the pitch she gave to 10 agents last weekend*

MOONSHOT is a young adult dystopian novel about a deep-sea oil rig welder on a floating company town in the Pacific who hacks her way into the Lottery to win a chance for a better life on the moon, only to discover it’s a televised competition to the death…and her estranged childhood crush is also a competitor.

Bum Bum bummm. If that sounds up your alley and you want to read the finished manuscript and give me feedback, let me know!

🎵and now back to our regularly scheduled content. 🎵

Psh, well that’s a joke. This newsletter is far from regular. I haven’t emailed you since last summer, and I had to remember how to use this platform. Surprise, surprise, I found an unsent draft from last November. Soo…instead of writing more, I’m going to share that draft with you:

From PAST CAROLINE of Nov. 2024 with *edits* from PRESENT CAROLINE:

I’m looking out over mountains as I write this (*accurate at time of writing*), my back sore from sitting on this cross-country flight, my eyes dry from binge-reading Shift (the sequel to Wool/the tv series Silo) on my phone’s tiny Kindle app screen, and I’m deep in the throes of a book hangover.

How devastating and beautiful and tragic that I read this book across two flights and a layover, 7 hours in total, when it took the author far far longer to create it. Such is the way of creation vs. consumption.

I’m returning home from YALLfest, the Young Adult Literature Lovers festival in Charleston, South Carolina that I’ve gone to the past four years.

Every year, I leave YALLfest energized: to write more, to write faster, to write better and to more accolades. It’s a dangerous energy, like consuming one too many drinks or whizzing down a steep hill on my tri bike.

I’m more of a slow and steady energy, not the frenetic type. I like to joke that if only I did cocaine like Stephen King, maybe I would writer faster, but for now, that’s still a joke. Which is why I’m not allowed to do cocaine.

It’s been a slow year (*2024*), one where I haven’t shared my updates because things kept changing. You might be thinking, uh, doesn’t that mean it’s been a fast year? Well, the turbulence light is on, (remember? I’m on an airplane?), so sit back down for a second and let me tell you why I kept not sharing….

🌊 Last December (*2023*), I told you how excited I was for my first book, MAY WE PLEASE THE SEA, to finally get pitched to publishers.

… but then my agent decided she didn’t want to try to sell it. She wanted to shelve it and focus on something new.

🚀 I sat with that disappointment and channeled my energy into my second book, MOONSHOT (another YA dystopian sci-fi), still working with my agent. In March (*2024*), I prepared to tell you how I was making peace with shelving MAY WE PLEASE THE SEA and how I was finding excitement to complete this other book to sell instead. I sent my agent MOONSHOT’s detailed outline and first chapter….

…and my agent dropped me.

I told you that part. Kind of. I said “we split”. The truth is: she dropped me. Why? I’ll elaborate another time. The point is—>

📚 I was left with a book my ex-agent didn’t want to pitch to publishers and another book I hadn’t even finished writing. So I had to find a mindset shift. Just after convincing myself that MAY WE PLEASE THE SEA wasn’t good enough, I had to find my belief in it again. That took time.

…but I did. After avoiding my book out of fear of how bad it must be, I sat down and read it. And I loved it! (again!). And I got back on the proverbial horse and I pitched that book to new agents through the summer (*yes, we’re still in 2024*), again and again.

🖊️ And I got a new agent!

I hadn’t told you that part either. It happened in August (* still 2024*). And it ended in August. A relationship not much shorter than my first boyfriend in 7th grade, who dumped me in the hallway while I was wearing a turkey costume for the middle school play and I had just started my period for the very first time and was walking out of the bathroom with a tampon hidden up my wing: a “woman”, a turkey, and newly single.

That’s basically how I felt this (*past*) August, minus all those very specific details. But a jumble of unexpected good and bad mixed together.

The agent was great, but alas, the agency and the decision maker behind her were not.

So I walked away.

I had author friends tell me to stay. “It’s better than nothing.” And just like my 7th grade breakup, which I honestly have not thought about in 20 years, so I too am intrigued with where this is going…. Ah yes, I’m comparing my red-flag agent to the relationship fear of “but what if I never find anyone else?”

That sentiment probably aligns better with my more life-impacting break-up in my late-20s, but it’s far more fun to talk about the one involving me in a turkey costume.

So here I am, flying back from a book festival for the fourth time, with some lower back pain to remind me I’m aging. Last year (*2023*), I had a powerhouse agency that represents The Hunger Games representing me, the end of revisions for MAY WE PLEASE THE SEA were in sight, and I was absolutely positively boiling over with hope and optimism for a book deal in 2024.

That’s not what 2024 entailed. I’ve had two agents this year, and I’m back to zero. See now how it’s both fast and slow? A hop-skip forward and a stumble-fumble back.

But that forward-back direction depends on the axis used.

[I was going to draw a really creative Chart here, except I can’t be bothered]

Yes, objectively, I’m further away from a book deal. But that’s only one metric to measure. What else has changed?

This YALLfest, I didn’t have imposter syndrome. I didn’t go hide in the bathroom or have a internal moment of overwhelming crushing doubts. I had the most energizing, revitalizing visit with old friends and new friends.

So let’s put that on an axis.

[Again, pretend I have a cool Chart here. Wow. Oh, it’s so insightful. There’s no chart. just go with it.]

I was brave enough to walk away from the thing I’ve wanted and talked about with you for the past—oh my—four years, because it didn’t feel right to me.

How amazing is that!

That’s not nothing. That’s growth and progress. Maybe not in the external self-validating goal-accomplishing way that I’d really prefer.

[See the Chart. Be the Chart. Are you inspired? Good. Me too.]

Where does that leave me? I took a pause on MAY WE PLEASE THE SEA. I’m focusing on MOONSHOT again. It’s 40% drafted (*remember, this is Past Me*) and I’m going to channel that book festival energy into finally get this book done.

But not right now. I have 20 minutes left in this flight, and I need to stare out the window and bask in this book hangover from SILO/WOOL. My books are taking me years to write, but maybe someday, someone will binge-read them on a plane ride.

Slow and steady my friend,

Caroline

WHEW. ok, lets hop back to Present Caroline.

Honestly, I don’t have much to add. Past Caroline-on-a-plane, just like some snakes, really gave you the full run-down there. 2025 has been drafting Moonshot, revising Moonshot, and next week, I’ll be sharing Moonshot for the first time with some beta readers. Woohoo!

P.S. Remember that I said I pitched 10 literary agents recently? (Even though I wasn’t done with revisions, teehee, look at me, finally being a rule breaker). Well, all 10 of them requested to see my book!

So once I’ve had some beta readers read Moonshot to make sure this crazy plot I’ve cooked up actually works, well then, it’s off the races once again!

ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?? [looks for an emoji with an twitchy eyeball, and can’t find one and moves on]

What else have I been up to (2024 version)? I…

• moderated a friend’s book launch (funny, because I’m still not a published author)

• harvested my first onions, garlic, and strawberries from the garden

• cried at a wedding during the father-daughter dance

• completed a 60-mile bike race (and got an impressive thigh and upper arm tan)

• sliced my thumb on a veggie chopper and learned many others have done the same

• planted banana trees, a fig tree, a peach tree, a cherry tree

• built a fence

• spent a lot of Author Energy on pitching, and finally, slowly, wrote the first ten chapters of my next book → and now that book is DONE!

Books I Wouldn’t Shut Up About in 2024 when I drafted this email, and honestly I still think about:

Wool and Shift by Hugh Howey:

Wool is great. Shift is greater. Granted, I’m even more fascinated than usual with the end of the world and doomsday and bad choices and anti-heroes. To be clear, my cozy comfort TV show is Naked & Afraid. I think that conveys my tastes.

Buy "Wool"

Buy "Shift"

On the 🌟Instagram🌟:

I went viral for a reel in September 2024 that got me 9.3 million views, 15,000 followers, an NPR feature on All Things Considered, and the lesson learned that people can be really mean online, even about the most innocent story of a stranger helping me unload gravel and how it reminded me of my dead dad. Sheesh people.

🔗 Watch the Reel

Since starting this journey,

+848 people have joined my newsletter
+203 virtual teas have been sent to me on Ko-Fi, yummy! Thanks friends! 🍵

Send Me a Tea

Thank you for being a part of this journey with me!

🌊❤️,

Caroline

Yoo-hoo! I’m Caroline Davis, a YA sci-fi author represented by the agency behind Hunger Games. I’m currently preparing my first book, MAY WE PLEASE THE SEA, to pitch to publishers. This newsletter shares my latest author updates & creative process musings.

I’ve been in my Big Loosa slump.

If you don’t speak Caroline, a “big loosa” is a loser, but with an -ah at the end, which makes it sound slightly endearing even though you’re still being mean to yourself.

So far, 2024 has been my year of the Big Loosa. I haven’t shared updates because I was told that no one wants to hear bad news. No one wants to read a bemoaning of woes. But publishing woes did occur.

This newsletter doesn’t mean I now have good news. I don’t. But I’m not here to bemoan woes. I’m here to tell a tale.

But, let’s rip off the band-aid first, shall we?

Whew, that felt good to say. I mean, no, the situation itself was disappointing for both of us. But in Publishing, there’s the Empty Restaurant Syndrome. The packed restaurant must be delicious, the empty restaurant must be downright awful. So if I’ve separated with my agent, then I must be a difficult diva, an unwanted mistake.

Hence, no one talks about the ugly. We don’t want to be the empty restaurant that others don’t want to enter.

Which means, for the last few months, I’ve been looking for a new agent. Silently.

The best comparison I can use for how I’ve been feeling is: Chutes n’ Ladders.

I wrote a book, revised it for a year, pitched it to agents, got a revision request, rewrote the book over another year, signed with an agent, revised the book more with her for six months, then revised for another six months, and then, that 100th Square Win was starting to feel real.

We were going to send it to publishers. It was going to sell. It most definitely was going to sell. I mean, my beta readers had loved it! I started allowing myself to envision what that meant—would I, after four years of writing and revising, finally make money off of this story?

And then I hit that chute—that really long one in the middle of the board—that took me back to the beginning.

But if you look at the board, that chute doesn’t take you to the beginning. It takes you to Square 24. Yes, I’m back looking for an agent, but I have a better book, I’m a stronger writer, I’m more confident in what I need and want in my business partners.

I had forgotten that.

Until I went to my college 10-year reunion.

I’m bopping around, talking to friends, when a classmate comes up to me and says, “I’m so inspired by you!”

My response was, “Really? Why?”

But it kept happening. People kept telling me they found my journey inspiring. And I’ve been so focused on the squares ahead, that all I could think was,

“But I no longer have an agent”,

“But I still don’t have a book deal.”

This reunion, and those classmates, reminded me—I’m not at the beginning.

May We Please the Sea (yes, my first book, still that same book I’ve been talking about) is currently out with nine agents who are reading it. That means I could end up with nine offers.

Or none.

But that’s more interest from potential agents than I ever had before!

So, for now, I have no news. Only a change in perspective:

We spend so much time looking ahead and feeling bad about what we have yet to accomplish, that it’s easy to forget how far we’ve come.

Maybe I’ll be back with news of a new agent, or maybe I’ll be zero for nine.

Either way, I’m working on my next book.

And maybe, just maybe, despite the lack of exciting announcements from me, you’ll find this inspiring.

What else have I been up to? I…

• moderated a friend’s book launch

• harvested my first onions, garlic, and strawberries from the garden

• cried at a wedding during the father daughter dance

• completed a 60-mile bike race (and got an impressive thigh and upper arm tan)

• sliced my thumb on a veggie chopper and learned many others have done the same

• planted banana trees, a fig tree, a peach tree, a cherry tree

• built a fence

• spent a lot of Author Energy on pitching, and finally, slowly, wrote the first ten chapters of my next book

Books I Won’t Shut Up About Recently:

The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker:

I’ve been hosting a monthly authors group at my house for over a year now, and this book is what inspired it / helped me create the structure for the day-long event. I know it works because my guests keep coming back!

Favorite take-away: Be a benevolent dictator. Provide structure.

Buy "The Art of Gathering"

The Art of Mingling by Jeanne Martinet:

This book isn’t as mind-blowing as The Art of Gathering was for me, but it was a good refresher and confidence boost before going into a series of networking events.

My favorite take-away: how to escape a long-winded talker (but I can’t tell you in case I use it on you, mwahah)

Buy "The Art of Mingling"

On the 🌟Instagram🌟:

Since starting this journey,

   +818 people have joined my newsletter
   +181 virtual teas have been sent to me on Ko-Fi, yum!

Send Me a Tea

Thank you for being a part!

🌊❤️,

Caroline

Yoo-hoo! I’m Caroline Davis, a YA sci-fi author represented by the agency behind Hunger Games. I’m currently preparing my first book, MAY WE PLEASE THE SEA, to pitch to publishers. This newsletter shares my latest author updates & creative process musings.

Last year, I was all hustle and bustle. 🏃🏼‍♀️ This year, I’m a green-yellow grapefruit.🍋

What do I mean by that?

Last year in February, I received a Revise & Resubmit from my to-be agent. (An R&R means “if you revise your book, you can resubmit it to me and I’ll look at it again”). I started the mega-rewrite in March, but in July, I had doubts. This rewrite wasn’t guaranteed to get me an offer from the agent. I was 5 months in and only halfway done. Was I wasting my time? Would this rewrite (and this story) go nowhere?

I was obsessing on this “will I, won’t I?”, and it wasn’t healthy. So I decided I need another commitment to distract my mind and refocus my fixation. What did I decide to do?

A Half Ironman.

Yeah….I am not an athlete. I’m 5’3. When I run, my thighs chafe. Everything chafes. When I did a bike fitting, the man told me, “you’re all torso and no legs.” Cool.

This goal didn’t really make sense, but the race day was my birthday, December 4th, so it caught my eye. I figured…it’s only July. That’s 5 months from now. I can finish my book then do this race. That’ll be my birthday gift to myself. (I’m a terrible gift-giver, clearly.)

In hindsight, I didn’t know a half-marathon was as long as it is, and I’m surprised I wanted more commitments when I was already feeling overwhelmed, but as the saying goes, “if you want something done, ask a busy person.” It was the kick in the butt I needed.

I submitted my full story rewrite to the agent on November 30th, 9 months after receiving her edits, and then raced a Half Ironman 4 days later.

That race took me 7 hours, 32 minutes, and 59 seconds (no, I’m not rounding up, you aren’t taking that 1 second from me)….but I did it! I needed that stubborn, barreling-forward energy. I needed to channel that “I’ll show them!” energy and grind.

🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️

This year, I needed a different energy. I received an offer from that agent the first week of January 2023 (yay!), with the caveat that she wanted another rewrite (boo…). Yes, you heard me. More rewriting. It was the first time I cried during the publishing process (even after 86 rejections). I think it was because I thought I’d crossed the finish line, but my finish line had moved.

I said yes, we signed, and I rewrote my story…again. It took me January through mid-July. (almost 7 months). I thought I was done. I thought it was perfect. (I know, I know, this is a character flaw of mine). It was not.

She wanted another revision. No tears this time, but I did stomp around for a week, bemoaning the world’s lack of appreciation for my brilliant art, and then I sent her back an email asking for help. (I don’t like to ask for help. I expect myself to be perfect at everything.) But I was stuck and didn’t know where to go with her edit suggestions. She waved her magical agent wand and helped me get excited for the revision I needed to do.

I did it. From mid-September through last Friday, Dec 1st. Now, I’m “done”. For now. But the finish line keeps moving, the race doesn’t end.

🍋🍋🍋

During this year of revisions, I dug into a different energy—slowing down, spreading my roots, tapping into a deep, steady confidence. Of who I am, of what I want, of what my story is and isn’t. Filtering through feedback and knowing, yes this is for me, or no, this is not.

As I revised, I looked out onto my garden. We planted citrus trees this spring, and the trees came laden with fruits. Ruby red grapefruits, oranges, and tangelos—all green at the time. I thought we’d have citrus within weeks! But the fruits stayed green, then green, then green. I stopped waiting for the harvest. I just enjoyed my trees. Their bright green leaves, the hummingbirds zipping around them. What they were, instead of what they could be.

That is what publishing has taught me this year. To slow down, enjoy the process. I’d love a juicy harvest at the end of it all, but for now, I’m a green grapefruit. Hanging on the tree, slowly turning yellow. I’m not sure when I’ll ripen. Tomorrow? In three months? More?

Maybe my agent and I will pitch this book to publishers in January, like I’ve been expecting*. Maybe it’ll go to auction and it’ll be a whirlwind of glorious hubbub as publishers fight to buy my book, dollar bills flying in the air. Or maybe my rewritten-and-rewritten-and-revised-again manuscript will sit in their inboxes unread as they tackle their own lives’ stresses and celebrations.

I can’t control when they read it, other than breaking into their houses and hacking into their email to set my pitch as their background screen. (My confidence says I can do this, the fact that I get scared by my own partner in our house says otherwise).

So that’s what this year’s energy has been. Not rushing toward a finish line, but enjoying the process of creating. Of reminding myself that I do this because I enjoy it. And not just for a shiny gold star at the end of it all. (Though I do love a gold star).

This year, I didn’t race a Half Ironman. But I did build a fence, a firepit, a retaining wall. I planted more garden beds. I laid some concrete. I built things. Not just a book. And all of it was satisfying.

I’m not sure what energy next year will bring, but I hope, whatever form it comes in, it’ll motivate me to keep pursuing this dream, and other dreams too. I’ll let you know if/when I have exciting news, but until then, I’ll be ripening.🍋

*When I first signed with my agent this January, I was convinced we would have a book deal from publishers by end of year. This year. HA.

I had some beta readers read this latest version of my book. Were you feeling like you needed a waterfall chart in your life? Because here it is:

49 people expressed interest in beta-reading my book. 12 of them never clicked the link. LOL, no judgment to you, my non-link-clickers. I too have volunteered to read a friend’s book and still haven’t opened it. We have good intentions!!

Anyhoo, of those 37 people whose eyeballs did glimpse my words, 14 of them didn’t finish the book. Whether that was taste or time, they didn’t finish. But 23 readers did. They read my whole book! (On a pretty bad betareading software, too).

Are we just itching for a percentage, now? Me too.

Of the subset of 23 finishers and 14 non-finishers, I had a 62% completion rate! (She stands there, arms raised, shouting this into the void, slowly realizing she has no idea what a “good” completion rate is.)

*Shrugs* As someone who’s become horrendous at finishing books, I think 2 out of 3 interested people finishing mine is…a gold star for me!

I went to Yallfest (Young Adult Literature Lovers festival) for the 3rd time this November. Set in Charleston, South Carolina, it’s a gathering of authors, future authors, and young adult book lovers. An author friend gave me a VIP badge to sit in the auditorium’s front row with the published authors, and interestingly, it triggered some serious imposter syndrome!

Because I had this badge, I felt this obligation to take advantage of it. To go sit in the front, alone, and hope some published authors would talk to me. But I’m not published. I don’t have a book deal. I’m not supposed to be up here. Everyone can see I’m sitting by myself. It awoke a feeling in me I hadn’t felt in a long time.

In my first job out of college, which was private equity in Hong Kong, my boss took me to a conference. I had only been working for him for maybe two weeks, so I had no idea how to talk about….well, anything. I was thrown into a room of old men in suits, who assumed I, as a young woman, was a salesperson and not in finance. They exited conversations with me as fast as I could start them. At a certain point, I went into the bathroom and hid in a stall.

At Yallfest, I didn’t go hide in a stall. (Though I did consider that strategy ). I stayed seated in the VIP area, and reminded myself, no one is paying attention to me. If I make even one new author connection, this will be worth it.

And I did. And it was.

Whether you’re ripening slow or hiding in a stall, I’ve been there. We probably all have. 🌊❤️,

Caroline

On the 🌟Instagram🌟:

Hello! I’m Caroline Davis, a YA sci-fi author represented by the literary agency behind Hunger Games. I’m currently preparing my first book, MAY WE PLEASE THE SEA, to pitch to publishers this Fall. This newsletter shares my latest author updates & creative process musings.

I’ve been eagerly waiting to announce my next big milestone of “I’m pitching my book to publishers!!”, but….

(For those of you who have been here awhile, you might already suspect what I’m about to say)

Yep. More revising.

My agent got back to me yesterday on the 4-month rewrite I submitted in July—the book needs another round. (As a reminder: I also did a 9-month Revise & Resubmit before that rewrite, so it’s been a lot of revision).

I’m not angry. Or sad. If the book isn’t ready, it isn’t ready. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’d rather spend the time on it now than later, when I’m on deadline and under pressure. But still, there’s that simmering feeling of doubt. “Can I not pull this off?”

I have to remind myself that I’m new to this. This was a career switch. I was the Intern, then the Analyst, and now I’m the Senior Associate chomping at the bit for a chance to manage a team and (whew, sorry I reverted to my LinkedIn corporate days there for a sec). Anyways, my writing journey is slow. And I have to be okay with that.

I’m driven by external validation. Let’s be honest, most of us are. Our society, our schooling—grades and awards and performance reviews—they instill that in us. A need to perform. To please. To achieve.

The slowness of my author journey has forced me to embrace a deeper patience. To look at my timeline for success on a scaled-out level….years, not months…and to find satisfaction in that day-to-day.

I’m working on reframing my mindset towards my Author Career from that corporate hustle-bustle must-hit-these-goals-by-these-dates fixation to more like my gardening approach: TLC, chipping away over time, and hopefully a little rain. One day, there will be a harvest. But for now, more planting and weeding await me. (🥲 except it’s a revision)

You are amazing. Wow. Thank you for being here. As I was gearing up to pitch to publishers (🥲 yes, not yet, I know. One more revision), I knew I needed to grow my newsletter. Publishers want to commoditize my art by plugging my stats into an Excel model to determine my profitability see that authors have an engaged community, so I decided to sell myself out to capitalism be vulnerable and ask for help.

And y’all delivered!

Starting Aug 16th, I gave myself the goal to ask 6 friends every weekday to join my newsletter. It felt SO cringy. So…shameless. How dare I interrupt your life to inconvenience you with such an ask! But I reminded myself that I love helping others, I love when I can do something to boost someone else. So I took that tiny kernel of goodness and I pressed send. Over and over. And no one told me I suck. In fact, people were…gasp..SO NICE!

This is the Stats section, so I have to give you the stats:

❓ Friends Asked: 180

✅ Friends who subscribed: 144

🌟 Success Rate: 80%

I don’t share this to reduce you to a number (but, aren’t we all, she asks in her somber cynical tone), but to show you the power of leveraging your community! To show you that asking works! Don’t be afraid to tell your friends what you need from them. They might overwhelm you with their enthusiasm and support 💕

But seriously, ya’ll’s responses were so lovely, I screen-shotted them to look back on on those more frustrating days (like this week 🥲). Thank you for supporting me.

Between my day job and my author career, my writing and my obligated self-marketing, it’s easy for me to feel overwhelmed. Like I’m not doing enough. I need to do the job stuffs, and write the author newsletter, and post on the social medias, and oh don’t forget that book you’ve rewritten three times. Do that some more. And also, start your next one. And why aren’t you on TikTok??

When my brain gets into that frenzy, I ask myself,

“what, if I accomplish it, will destress me the most?”

I know, it’s not rocket science. But the tweak here is I’m not telling myself, YOU HAVE TO DO THIS. I’m not saying, this is #1 on my to-do list and if you don’t do it, you suck. I’m identifying the source of my anxiety, and I’m cheering myself on to tackle it.

Because sometimes the thing causing the most stress isn’t that hard to do. And getting it done will be less stressful than thinking about it all day.

So try that framing. See if it helps. 💕 It’s helped me.

🌊❤️,

Caroline

P.S. I hope to have more exciting updates for you next month, but who knows. Until next time, I’ll be revising.

On the 🌟Instagram🌟:

Hello! I’m Caroline Davis, a YA sci-fi author represented by the agency behind Hunger Games. I’m currently preparing my first book, MAY WE PLEASE THE SEA, to sell to publishers this fall. This newsletter shares my latest author updates & creative process musings.

I pressed a button. Just a tap of the same mousepad I tap every day, but with that touch, I sent my rewritten manuscript to my agent. The third major rewrite of this novel, and also, the fourth time I’ve taken a big breath and hit send to her:

• The first time was in Dec 2021, when I sent her my first chapter after pitching her at a virtual conference

• The second time was 2 hours later, after she read the first chapter and loved it, and asked me to send her the full manuscript

• Fast-forward a year later to November 2022, I sent her a revised manuscript, 9 months after she requested a substantial Revise & Resubmit (also called an R&R)

• Seven months after that, in July 2023, is when I sent her this re-revised manuscript, which was 4.5 months after she signed me as a client

Four times I’ve sent something to her, and each time, it’s been a wave of excitement, relief, and unknown. Will she like it?

Of course she’ll like it. It’s the best work I’ve ever done!!!

But…I’ll probably definitely have to revise it again.

The irony in being a writer is you must simultaneously think your work is the most glorious thing ever (otherwise why spend so much time on it?) while also knowing that it will never be perfect. It can always be better. In fact, some people will downright hate it.

And there will always be more rewrites.

As a wise man once said, “if I had more time, I would’ve written a shorter letter.” Over these rewrites, I cut my story length significantly and yet, it is fuller and stronger than before. My first draft I sent to agents was 103k. When I rewrote the story as an R&R for Alli, I cut it to 82k. In this rewrite, I pulled out plot lines and cut characters, and ended up at 75k. Which is interesting because I also added POVs and pre-chapter snippets, so it felt like net-net, I was adding!

I’ve learned the mistakes of not planning out my story thoroughly enough in advance, especially for the complex plot twists and world-building of sci-fi. For this draft, I spent just as much time planning out what I was going to write (68 hours of planning) as I did doing the actual initial drafting, which was 60 hours. So actually, more planning than drafting!

For me, all the work came in revision: 137 hours! Finessing and tweaking what I’d already planned.

That’s 265 hours spent on just this one rewrite! And this still isn’t the final product.

Next steps:

My agent will review it, hopefully think it’s perfect (ha), and then we will submit it to publishers this fall. Hopefully they love it, too.

Lots of hope. 🤞

(and a healthy dose of cynicism)

There’s been this shark shadow lurking in the depths of my mind. This thought I swim away from. The whisper of…“what if this book doesn’t sell?”

The thought triggers a narrative: oh that poor Caroline, spent over three years trying to become a published writer, and she FAILED.

The more evil cousin of the F words.

The thought leads to another thought, as thoughts tend to do:

If I don’t sell, does that mean … this was a waste of time?

I almost fell down that downward spiral, and then I thought, “hold up. Why is THIS a failure? There are so many things in life we do and move on from, and we never consider those ‘a waste.’ So why this?”

I studied and passed all three levels of the CFA exam, and then left the finance industry. Now, no one can even call me Caroline Davis, CFA. (Sigh) Was that a waste? Money, time, lack of social life. Maybe.

I threw myself full-on into my 3-year project at LinkedIn, even winning the cross-functional MVP award in front of my entire department in Las Vegas. Now, I don’t even know where that award is. Or what to do with it. A paperweight? I could… carry it around my neck? Since I’m no longer working in tech, the award means very little.

Was that a waste?

Maybe you’re nodding- yes, they were. Maybe you’re shaking your head-no, they weren’t. But I’m not arguing for or against the wastes in my life. I’m pointing out thats it’s all about perception. How we choose to view and perceive a narrative. The villain is the good guy in their own story, no? We can tell a story from many angles. It’s up to us.

Maybe this book won’t sell. Maybe everyone will whisper, poor Caroline, what a waste.

But they probably won’t. I am not the protagonist in your life to consume that much brain space. I am a mere side character, with my own goals and dreams. Waste or not, isn’t this what life is about? The process of living it?

Wasted Time or Living Life?

I change strategies depending on where I’m at in a book, but for these final weeks of sick-and-tired-of-this, I relied on:

1. public spaces

2. body doubling

I found an author friend on a similar deadline and we dragged ourselves to a Starbucks for two weeks straight, every day, for 3-6 hour stints. I would crank out my non-author job from 7am-1pm and feel too burnout to write, but I’d haul myself to that Starbucks, and together, we wrote. The temptations of home were too great. And the accountability of my writing buddy got me there.

I’d like to write to you more frequently, with the goal of 1x per month. (No promises though, seeing as my previous cadence has been once per year). What type of content would you like to see from me? Do you like this “format” (it’s new) of a writing update, some musings (which I’m full of), and a productivity tip?

I came up with this as I sit on a 1.5 hr flight to Sacramento for a wedding, so I won’t be insulted if you want something different than this. Airplanes make me pensive. (And cry during movies)

Let me know!

🌊❤️,

Caroline

On the 🌟Instagram🌟:

This story is 4 months overdue, which is funny because as I was suffering through the finding-a-literary agent hustle, I always looked forward to the “How I got my Agent” post I would one day write. I clung to that dream to keep me pushing forward, rejection after rejection after reject…ok, you get the point.

And then, I got the agent. And another round of revisions. So I buried myself into revising, and let that milestone fade into the background.

But here I am, a bit weary and worn, a bit more jaded and cynical, but I am declaring my slightly-aged milestone and documenting it for the world!!

I HAVE A LITERARY AGENT!

No, that does not mean my book is on shelves for you to buy. But I promise, this is still exciting! An agent represents me for my writing career—for my future books and movie deals and international rights. But for now, I still have not made any money off this book. Please refer to my diagram:

Once I finish this revision (don’t ask me which draft this is), my agent and I will send the manuscript to publishers, and then, maybe then, will I see a dollar bill.

Until then, let’s procrastinate from revising with some story-telling:

Rejections

I started sending this manuscript out to literary agents in Fall 2021, and I’m not going to sugarcoat it…I got a lot of rejections.

Pitching at an online conference

It was after 34 rejections that I decided I needed to try something new, so I signed up for an online conference where you can pitch to agents. I practiced with IG semi-strangers on Zoom the week before, and that Saturday, I woke up at 7am to pitch my little heart out. Ten 15-minute sessions, sprinkled annoyingly from 8am to 1pm.

In between pitch sessions, I blasted “I am Woman” on loud and struck power pose lunges around my office.

Here is where we introduce a key character— Agent Alli. Now, Alli was one of the ten agents I had booked for the Saturday pitch sessions, but she had to last-minute reschedule her pitches to Monday. (Take note of this).

I pitch Alli on Monday. Alli, unlike the other agents, plays Bad Cop. She seems uninterested, she’s not giving much back. She asks if I’m working on anything else, and I pitch my 2nd book idea: Moonshot. (Mind you, I’ve learned by now how important THE PITCH is, so for this new idea, I crafted the pitch before I wrote the book). So it was a good pitch.

Lo and behold, Alli loves this other idea. She’s like, “wow I want to read that!”

I’m like, “uh Agent Alli, that book isn’t written yet, don’t get distracted, back over here, yoo-hoo, let’s talk about the book I did write.”

And Agent Alli, in true Bad Cop fashion, is like, “hm, fine, sure, I’ll give it a look.”

~~

Jump ahead a day. I’ve polished my pages and my pitch letter and I’m ready to send. In total, 9 out of 10 agents liked my pitch enough to request pages. (That sounds like a toothpaste ad, doesn't it? Like…what happened to the 10th dentist?)

I send out the pitch to the agents on my list from the Saturday pitches, and….I FORGET ALLI! She wasn’t on the Saturday sticky-note. Because she rescheduled to Monday. Remember that key piece of information??

Later that day, I’m like, “oh sherpas, I forgot Agent Alli!” And then dear reader, I’ll be honest. I pause. I think to myself, “should I even bother sending to her? She wasn’t that excited.”

(If you can’t tell yet, Agent Alli is who I sign with.)

Well, I send to Agent Alli.

SEVENTEEN MINUTES LATER, Agent Alli responds.

Needless to say, I turn on “I am Woman” and do more lunging power poses, across the whole house this time. Then, I send Alli a super chill business-profesh email with only 2 exclamation points and attach my full manuscript.

Revise & Resubmit

Yeah….we wish this story was over, don’t we?

Agent Alli starts following Caroline (that’s me in 3rd person, but I need to disassociate) on Instagram. Caroline freaks out and starts stalking Agent Alli in a perfectly-legal but a little bit creepy way, where she tries to figure out how far Agent Alli is into her book by the stories she’s posting about birds on a lake. (That must mean chapter 12…right?!)

December fades into January. Caroline is no fool. She prepares for the worst. Because she is a Stage-5 Clinger, she was checking when Alli watched her Stories. Alli has stopped watching her stories.

Caroline knows rejection is coming.

On February 7th, 2022, an email arrives. *Ding*

Caroline opens it, preparing for tears.

But it’s not a rejection. It’s a….Revise and Resubmit? Caroline doesn’t cry. Because she’s too busy nodding and agreeing with the numerous paragraphs of feedback detailing what could be better.

She aggressively googles R&Rs, going into Page 20 of Google. (Although, now Google does endless scroll, but you get the point).

She hems and haws and wants to go work on Moonshot, but she decides that she MUST see this through and she WILL do this rewrite, even though there’s no guarantee of an agent offer at the end. But she’s tired and jaded.

Ok, switch back to 1st person POV….

I REWROTE THE ENTIRE DANG BOOK.

From March to November. 9 months. Basically, a book baby.

566 hours of writing. Yes, I tracked it in a spreadsheet.

On November 30th, I send Agent Alli the revised manuscript. Again, only two exclamations in the email. Go me.

*Ding* Alli responds immediately.

More Rejections

Since I’m waiting, I send out my amazingly-revised manuscript to a few of the agents who had rejected me in the past who will regret missing out on this super fantastic revised story, andd…….

They reject me again. Lol. Cry. Lol.

The Offer

Agent Alli is called Agent Alli for a reason. Because I talked about her and her feedback for NINE MONTHS as I revised. To myself, to anyone who would listen.

My family knew Agent Alli. She was Agent Alli. But was she MY Agent Alli?

On December 14th, I receive an email *ding* Pukes in mouth.

It’s not a rejection. She’s still reading. I google the meaning of “I’m very hopeful here” and call 5 people to analyze the wording. Then I send a super chill response. Again, limited to 2 exclamation points.

On December 24th, Alli sends another email *ding*. It’s not an offer, but it’s not a rejection. It’s…

MORE REVISIONS!

This time, I do cry. I go into the garden, which is just weeds because I haven’t taken care of it, and I pretend to fix my always-broken sprinklers but really I’m just crying, and David comes out and takes away the pipe cutter that I’m crying onto and making it rust, and asks, “why are you sad?”

And I say, “because I have to rewrite my book again.”

“But you knew you would have to revise it again, and you will, with a publisher.”

And I say, and I genuinely meant this, “Yes, but I wanted it to be perfect and I wanted Alli to love it and I wanted her to want to change nothing and send it to publishers immediately.”

And David hugs me and says, “you knew that wasn’t going to happen.”

And I sniffle and say, “Yes, I know.”

🌊

Stats

Queries: 98

Rejections: 86 (88% negative response)

Full manuscript requests: 12 (12% positive response)

R&Rs*: 3

Offers: 1 (1% success rate)

Timeframe: 3 years, 2 months

**I accepted Alli’s offer before the other 2 R&R agents had time to read. They couldn’t commit to the 2-week notice I gave them, and I was ok with not waiting for them because..AGENT ALLI!

Timeline

11/01/2019 - Wrote the 1st draft in November National Novel Writing Month

Draft 1: 30 days (didn’t log hours)

04/16/2020- Left my job at LinkedIn, started revising

draft 2: 351 hours

Draft 3/4: 538 hours

Draft 5/6: 287 hours

07/08/2021 - Sent first queries to agents. Rejections.

12/14/2021- After hitting 34 rejections, decided to pitch my book at an online conference

02/07/2022- Agent Alli asks for Revise & Resubmit (R&R)

~revise for 9 months~

Draft 7: 566 hours

01/03/2023- Offer of representation

01/26/2023- Signed the contract!

In Conclusion…

Well, that got a little melancholy there. But that’s why I’ve been postponing this story. Because, yes, it is a “success story”, but it’s also the summary of a lot of writing and rewriting and rejection. 1,742 logged hours, to be exact.

But let’s end with some happy thoughts…

Agent Alli is at Stimola Literary, which is the agency that represented Hunger Games. And guess what, my books are Dyssstoppiaaaan. The genre is back, baby!

Basically, Suzanne Collins and I are BFF. This is almost as exciting as when I asked Amy Tan to pass the green beans. But that’s a story for another day. ;)

Thanks for reading,

Caroline

P.S. the best way to help me right now is to share this newsletter with your friends and force them to subscribe! Publishers will look at my “Author Platform” when considering a deal ($).

Slow & Steady. Revise & Resubmit.

You haven’t heard from me in a while. Ten months to be exact. And that’s because I kept waiting for good news. Not COVID, not rejections, I wanted to tell you I'd signed with an agent. So I waited, and waited, and here we are.

I still don’t have an agent, but I’ve made some exciting progress. And I think it’s okay to celebrate that, too.

In this newsletter:

🌊 Revise & Resubmit

🌊 Wait, You Have a Second Book?

Revise & Resubmit

Last fall, I sent my pitch and first chapter for May It Please the Sea to many, many agents. (the newsletter link details the early stages of my querying process).

Caroline Fowler Davis

Six drafts later, I finished my book!

September 2021 I've finished my book. 1.5 years. 6 drafts. 3 alpha readers. 3 critique partners. 45 beta readers. By now, I'm sick of reading my own words. But that's when they say it's time to put it out into the world! In this newsletter: The dreaded querying process…

Read more

5 years ago · Caroline Fowler Davis

I got 7 requests to see the manuscript (big deal!! Agents typically request the full manuscript for ~1% of the pitches they receive) and I bit off all my fingernails as I waited for the possibility of an offer.

I didn’t get one. Instead, I got 3 R&Rs. “Revise and Resubmit”. Not an offer, but not a rejection. As the name suggests, it means the agent likes your work enough to take the time to suggest feedback (Revise) and would consider it again once it’s been fixed (Resubmit), but they don't like it enough to take it on as-is. It needs too much work. Especially in today’s overworked and understaffed publishing industry, R&Rs are a good filtering mechanism. Can you handle feedback? Can you tackle a meaty revision?

I thought I’d be sad as I read my first R&R email in mid-February, realizing it wasn’t an offer. But the agent's feedback was so spot-on, I was nodding along and mumbling “dangit, she’s right.” In that moment, I knew I wouldn't get an offer from any of those other agents still reading. It wasn’t pessimism, it was fact. My book wasn’t good enough yet. But her feedback inspired me.

"I don’t take the time to write notes when I’m not head-over-heels for the writing and see potential, so I hope you’ll be motivated and excited by these thoughts and not too overwhelmed." - Agent X

I forwarded the email to all my family members so we could dissect every word, then sat in a chair and stared at the wall and accepted the truth. To do this right, I have to rewrite this entire book. Yikes. Couple that with the fact that an R&R does not guarantee an offer...I could go through the whole process and still end up with a rejected manuscript!

But when I followed up with the agent to clarify that she actually truly meant it when she said she wanted me to cut 25,000 words (nearly 25% of my manuscript!!), she said.....

"If I see that there is more structure, heart, clarity on these notes, I can easily take you on and we can do a final revision before submission if it needs it."

Decision made. Goodbye, shiny new book idea I had started outlining. Hello, story I'm sick of. We meet again.
 

Here's a quick look into my Writing Life since then:
 

In March & April, I re-outlined the new shorter plot. This consisted of scribbling on paper, flipping through craft books, and What-If-ing up a storm.

In May, I wrote and re-wrote my Act 1. The world and plot twists stayed mostly the same, but everything changed just enough that I decided to write this new draft from scratch. (And change it to present tense, too!)

In June, I speed-drafted the entire manuscript based on my detailed outline. I got COVID during that time, but somehow still finished. (The writing might be terrible, but it's on the page).

Now, I'm revising! I'm ~35% done with revising. Once I'm happy with my latest batch of chapters (and I don't like to share my work until I've revised it multiple times), I send them to my Critique Partners. We have Zoom feedback sessions, and based on their feedback, I revise again (and again). Rinse and repeat until the full manuscript is done. Then, I'll send the whole thing to beta readers, so they can read in one-go. Wait a few weeks, bite off my nails, which will have just regrown, and based on reader feedback, I'll...get ready for it...revise again (and again). After banging my head against a wall a few more times, I'll send it to agents! 

I use Asana's calendar feature to color-code my writing-specific deadlines (revise, upload, marketing, meetings) and estimate a deadline

I aim to submit by end of September. Maybe this R&R will go nowhere, and maybe I'll be embarrassed I shared this news with y'all, only to tell you later, "after all of that, it didn't work out." But this is what I'm up to. And even if this book doesn't get picked up, I'm becoming a stronger writer through the process.

Wait, You have a 2nd Book?

Outlined but not drafted. I started Moonshot while I was querying May It Please the Sea, so it's sitting there waiting for me to return to. I mentioned it at a virtual conference while pitching my other book, and agents were excited by it! Here's the pitch:

MOONSHOT
YA Sci-Fi
SQUID GAME meets DON'T LOOK UP (the movie)

In a climate-devastated Florida, a deepsea oil rig welder hacks her way into the Lottery to win a spot on the Moon, only to discover it's a competition with deadly consequences

I created the pitch for Moonshot before writing it, so it's snappier than May It Please the Sea's. (Learn from my mistakes-- pitch is everything!)

MAY IT PLEASE THE SEA
YA Sci-Fi
WATER WORLD meets RED RISING

When her island floods, a talented spearfisher seeks the sea gods to save her people, only to discover an undersea station of scientists who demand she must win a hunting competition and defeat their enemy in order to earn their help

The beginnings of a third book are marinating in the back of my mind, but for now I must retreat into my revising cave! Just kidding, it's Saturday, so we are going to organize the garage. Very exciting stuff.

🌊 Enjoy your summer, and let me know what you've been up to!  🌊 

I finished my book.

1.5 years.
6 drafts.
3 alpha readers.
3 critique partners.
45 beta readers.

By now, I'm sick of reading my own words. But that's when they say it's time to put it out into the world!

In this newsletter:

• The dreaded querying process

• Beta reading bonanza

• Want to write a book with me in November? (NaNoWriMo)

• Drink wine with me

The Dreaded Querying Process

Unfortunately, once you finish a book, you can't just print it out, walk into Barnes & Noble, shove all the other books off the front display table, and put yours there. I know...right?!

Instead, you need an agent.

Then a publisher.

It's complicated, so I drew an infographic:

I'm on Step #2: Find an Agent

You write an entire manuscript, and all you send to agents is a one-page pitch letter and your first chapter. That's it! Then you wait 1-6 months for a response.

I've been silent on social media about the querying process because:
1) selfishly- no one likes to talk about being rejected,
2) practically- I don't want agents to see how long I've been querying

But I think it's important to show the real behind-the-scenes, not just the good stuff, so here comes vulnerability!

So far, I've queried 24 agents:
- 7 rejections
- 17 pending submissions
- 0 mega-million offers (yet)

Of those 7 rejections, 3 weren't the best fit (I shouldn't have queried them, but I was looking for a confidence boost...HA. FAIL), and one I sent too early with weak materials. The other 3 rejections semi-hurt. (This batch is my C-Tier of agents). But still, I think my book is great. How dare they disagree!!

What's worse than the generic "it's not you, it's me" form rejections is the WAITING. And the GUESSING. Instead of rejecting, some agents never respond! You devolve into guesswork...Are they still considering me? Did they hate me instantly? Most of my submissions have been out for ~45+ days, and I just don't know! It's enough to drive a girl to wine. *sips wine as she writes this*

Luckily, there's a query-tracking software (called QueryTracker, crazy I know) where authors self-report their submissions and responses. So for agents who do reject, I can watch my Judgement Day creep closer. Of my 17 pending submissions, at least 3 agents have skipped over me in the queue, which I like to believe means I'm being considered! 

Below is the past 90 days' submissions for an agent who passed over my submission (highlighted in yellow):

My excitement over being in the Maybe Pile has melted into angsty ennui

Yeah, that list is long. Some agents receive over 150 submissions per DAY! Seems like I wasn't the only one to write a book during COVID. Sigh.

For now, I'm trying to adopt healthy coping mechanisms like not checking the QueryTracker website every day and not rapidly refreshing my email just in case a manuscript request came through in the last 5 minutes. *Sips wine again*

But because I'm a masochist, I require myself to go for a run after every rejection and then hang the rejection on the wall.

Do you like my new wallpaper?

If you're a super-sleuth with microscope eyeballs, you might've noticed--my last rejection was August 18th. Almost a month ago! I've paused querying until I hear back from the 3 agents who I know have Maybe Pile-ed me. (I can make up words, I'm an author). If those end up also being rejections, I might need to rewrite my first chapter! Yuck.

Fear not, I'm not terribly sad. Mostly impatient. This batch of agents was mainly meant to assess my query materials' quality...which hasn't been as ego-boosting as I desired. Nevertheless, I still have ~30 A/B-Tier agents to query, so the party (and running / wall-papering) has just begun!

Beta Reading Bonanza

If you follow my Instagram, you might've seen I posted a "Call for Beta Readers" there a while back. Well, it went astoundingly well! The amount of people willing and eager to read my book warmed my wine-filled heart.

Having had a low completion rate with my Alpha Readers (only 1 out of 3, albeit with a much rougher draft), I decided to invite a larger list of 51 beta readers, expecting most of them would drop out...

Yep, we all knew the graphs were coming

Not the case! 41% of invited beta readers finished the entire book! Keep in mind, I wasn't asking these people to leisurely read. This was a massive favor. I asked them to read a 53-chapter, 106,000 word novel on clunky beta-reading software (Betareader.io) and add comments/feedback within a 3-week timeframe. And 21 people did exactly that!

...Now I HAVE to get it published, since I promised signed copies to those who finished...

Joking aside, I've lived in this story for over a year, developing characters and plot twists that I didn't speak about with anyone, waiting patiently for my book to be ready enough (in my eyes) to share, for a reader to finally read my ending and say, "it worked."

And they did.

Having people read and critique something you created, a story you pulled from your own mind...it's scary.

But it's also an honor.

Thank you, my glorious beta readers! Though I am still digging through your comments (and procrastinating with this newsletter instead), I am already so grateful for your support. Your feedback has made this book stronger!

Yes, I lied. I' not technicallllyyy done with Draft 6. I got feedback overload and had to take a break. Luckily, those agents are so darn slow, I have time to polish :)

Let's write a book!

Every November, (National Novel Writing Month), people commit to sprint-writing a 50,000-word novel in 30 days. This was how I wrote the very first draft of my book! Now, I'm itching to start a new one.

Want to join an accountability group? Let's gather the book-writing troops and hang out in silence as we spew garbage onto our keyboards. Let me know if you're interested!

Wow, Caroline, that sounds (and looks) so...FUN!

Drink wine with me!

Did you know I've been a virtual wine tasting host for In Good Taste wines since March? Nothing pairs better with writing & revising than a glass (bottle?) of wine! I've hosted everything from bachelor parties to 100+ person corporate events.

If you order 6+ wine flights, a tasting with Yours Truly comes free. Reach out for more details!

Thanks for reading!  

That's all for now! Hopefully, I'll have more exciting news for you in the coming months. Or, I'll become a professional runner and wall-paper-er. 🌊

Since starting this journey,

   +446 people have joined my newsletter
   +150 virtual teas have been sent on Ko-Fi to show support
Thank you for being a part!

I finished Draft Two!

I did it. It's done. Draft 2 of my manuscript is complete. My mind is mush and my printer is out of ink. We are almost to November, which marks the one-year mark since I started writing this story.

In this newsletter:

• Behind-the-scenes of Draft 2

• Lessons learned

• What's next? Revisions.

• Thank you for your support!

Behind the Scenes of Draft 2

Draft 1:
50,000 words
1 month

Draft 2:
109,500 all-new words
250 pages
351 focused hours of writing

I tackled my first draft last November during National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) with nothing but a faint idea of a freediver girl discovering an underwater station. For 30 days, I forced out words and made the story up as I went- tucked away into a deserted meeting room at the end of the workday for an hour or two. If you want a good forcing function to make you write, I recommend checking it out. Nothing better to jumpstart a new project than an aggressive deadline! And it's free.

After November, I put the story away and went back to work.
Fast forward 4.5 months.

On April 17th, I finished my 3-year project and left LinkedIn with the goal of pursuing this book full-time. Starting the next Monday, April 20th, I sat down at my desk and opened the story back up. Every minute of writing / revising / outlining was logged with Pomodoro or Focusmate (more on those below in Lessons Learned) and recorded in my Book Tracking spreadsheet. Because of course I had a spreadsheet. 
 

Draft 2 in Numbers

(Daily Words on left- black line, Hours on right- blue bars)

From April 20th to October 16th. How did I do in 130 work days?

My initial goal was 3 hours of writing per day. (I just picked a number). And three hours meant fully-focused, no distractions. If I started to text or clicked open a website tab, I paused my timer. If I researched articles, I didn't record.

So a goal of 390 hours and I completed 351. That's 90%. That's an A..... 

I was going to make a joke about Harvard grade inflation, but I'll just show you this t-shirt instead.

"If I wanted an A, I would've gone to Harvard."

What happened with that orange and yellow in your chart?? We moved from San Francisco to San Diego end of June, so I took most of June off to pack/move/unpack and since David didn't start work till August, we used July to travel. Well, "travel". The original plan had been Italy. HA! Instead, we explored California: scuba diving in Catalina, trailrunning in Santa Barbara, whitewater kayaking in Kernville, exploring our new home San Diego.

It was worth it.

So what if I exclude those pesky summer months? Then, I averaged 3.5 hours/day. Look at that 116%. That's gotta be an A++. Extra credit. And if I were to chart my average hours of writing per day, I'd be pleased with the positive slope. That's called character growth, people.

What? This is my self-evaluation. I can handle the data how I want to. I'm "finding insights."

Okay, self-congratulations aside. Where did I mess up? I spent too much time in the first few months rewriting the early chapters- polishing the words like a line editor- when really I should've focused on the larger picture... my plot needed restructuring! Hence the spike in words for May. It was still helpful though. I focused on reading craft books and finding my writing voice.

But then I hit the Act 2 opening, where I knew it needed a new storyline, and I came to a screeching halt end of May. There were no more fun words for me to rewrite. It was time to brainstorm.

Brainstorming was not fun. Those 40 hours in July with no words written? Brainstorming. I would sit for a full day freewriting in a notebook and have 1-2 ideas. In the moment, it felt tiny. But a week of small ideas led to a handful, and then the next week's ideas built on those, until one day- yowza, I had a full spreadsheet outlining every chapter.

I now had a clear path forward.

But even then, I dawdled. I would write a scene, then spend hours tweaking it the next day before I moved on to a new one. If I was going to send out scenes for feedback (just to my sisters, don't get your feelings hurt), they needed to be perfect.

But this meant my brain was constantly switching between revising and writing. Between critically evaluating words and then shutting off that same filter in order to capture my brain's thoughts on paper.

"Write with the door closed, rewrite with the door open"

- Stephen King

I switched back to speed writing. Sorry, sisters. No more chapters for you. 50-minute sprints with a 400 word goal. If I stopped writing to look up a fact... NO, back to work. Just put in a placeholder. [ ] became my friend.

• [NAME] entered the room.

• Maria had done her hair in [SOME COOL STYLE].

It was like a game of MadLibs. But you're playing alone. Despite having a super cool spreadsheet, I tracked my sprints on paper to really feel my progress.

So here we are. Draft 2 is finally finished. A full reworking of the plot. Not even the original character names survived. Instead of celebrating, I was grumpy and tired and emotionally spent.

Some days I feel like Pinky & the Brain and I'm going to take over the world, other days I want to print out my words just so I can crumble them into a ball and throw that fist-crunched paper in the trash.

Ah, the highs and lows of writing.

Lessons Learned

I've taken a week to clear my brain and now it's time to revise. But before jumping into the next phase, I would be remiss if I did not put on my Project Management hat and find some lessons learned.

 

1) Don't polish the turd

I tinkered with my opening chapters for a month. And now they have been banished to a folder titled Unused Writing #2. 

40,541 words. Time spent fixating on grammar and sentence structure and word choice when I needed to focus on the novel's global issues. I was formatting my slides before I'd decided the presentation I was giving.

Going forward, I have to let the little things slide. Allow myself to get to them later. Build the foundation, then make it pretty.

 

2) Don't edit while writing

It felt so natural that I didn't even realize I was doing it. Reread the last day's writing, get excited that it's better than I remembered, and start improving it. NO! So many of those scenes are going to be rewritten now that I've finished the story. Things changed. Characters made different choices than I originally intended. 

Writing is a creative process. The characters' voices take over your body, speaking through your furiously typing hands. You are teleported to a different world, experiencing the scene. What do they see? smell? touch?

If I switch to Google to start researching "smells in an underwater station", I lose my flow.   (If you were curious, according to aquanaut Fabien Costeau, grandson of dear Jacques, "With greater air density, voice patterns change slightly, the sense of smell is subdued, and people lose their sense of taste.")
Whoops. See how distracting that was?

Editing, on the other hand (/other side of the brain), is methodical. Precise. A surgeon with a scalpel. I think. I've never held a scalpel. Slicing away extraneous words, cutting back those info dumps. Finding that overly-repeated word and banning it from your lexicon. There's a time and a place for the Reaper of Words, but it's not when you're still trying to write the story in your mind. Get it on paper first.

 

3) Always have a metric, even if it changes

• For writing- Word Count. It forces the words out.

• For brainstorming and revising- Hours of deep work. Butt in chair.

4) Keep improving upon your process

I started with a Pomodoro timer. 25 minutes on, 5 minutes off. A great tool for short sprints and for building your concentration muscle. But I found it was interrupting me mid-flow, and I was celebrating a false sense of progress when I'd only done two hours. I also could pause it whenever I wanted. Tea, bathroom, phonecall. Press pause.

I switched to Focusmate, an online platform that pairs you with a partner over video for a 50-minute work session. This was great when I was writing and brainstorming. When I would hit a wall and suddenly decide it was time to make more tea or water my plants, there was a person on the screen working away. They would notice if I left. And I'd book back-to-back sessions with 10-minute breaks. With a person waiting to meet, this meant my breaks actually stayed ten minutes.

Since starting it in August, I've done 151 sessions. Now, I feel pretty darn good about focusing and maintaining my own schedule. For revisions, I expect I'll use FocusMate less. Now even 50 minutes interrupts my flow! So don't be afraid to try out new ways of working.

"If I organize my life in such a way that I get lots of long, consecutive, uninterrupted time-chunks, I can write novels. But as those chunks get separated and fragmented, my productivity as a novelist drops spectacularly."

-Neal Stephenson

What's Next? Revisions.

Here's the plan: The plan is to make a plan.

I have my printed manuscript and my colored pens. This week, I am reading it from start to finish. I haven't done that yet since I first started rewrites.

I will read things I love that I forgot I wrote, and I will read things I hate and want to fix.

But I won't make edits. I will only identify problems. A long-running list of changes categorized by Plot, Character, Setting, and Other.

Next week, I will create my revision list, ranking issues from global to local and assigning them deadlines. Transforming this revision into managable tasks, starting with the big meaty ones, not the shiny grammar.

Once I have my plan, I'll share it.

Execute like a Business:

1. Focus on the Wildly Important

2. Act on the Lead Measures (deep work)

3. Keep a Compelling Scoreboard

4. Create a Cadence of Accountability

- Deep Work by Cal Newport

Thank you for your support!  

Since I left LinkedIn in April,
   +77 people joined my newsletter
   +116 people sent me a virtual tea on Ko-Fi to show their support
   + lots have shared articles, encouragement, and well wishes :)

Time to crawl back into my hole. These chapters aren't going to read themselves. Thanks for reading and have a good week!